Why You’re Struggling to Learn Something New

If you’ve ever tried to pick up a new skill—maybe learning a language, diving into coding, or sticking with a hobby that once lit you up—you probably know the feeling: initial excitement, a burst of momentum, and then… a slow leak. The books gather dust. The podcast queue grows untouched. The class reminders pop up, and you swipe them away, thinking, “Tomorrow.”

I want to pause right there. If that’s you, you’re not alone. Really. Nearly everyone runs headfirst into this wall at some point. And the truth is, there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, your struggle is more common—and more meaningful—than most people let on.

So what actually helps you move forward? It’s not just persistence or raw discipline. It’s about how you engage: finding purpose, clarity, and some sense of enjoyment in the process (even if it’s just a flicker some days).

Not long ago, I spoke with Megan—a Spanish teacher who also researches how people master new languages. Her take stuck with me:

“It’s not the most dedicated who make it. It’s the ones who stay curious and remember why they started.”

If you’re in that stuck place right now, consider this your invitation—not to push harder, but to get a little more creative and intentional. Here’s how to find your way forward.

Mindset First: Why Struggle Isn’t Failure

Let’s start with the hard truth: learning anything new will always involve struggle. And yet, so many of us interpret that struggle as a sign we’re not cut out for it. Enter the “Growth Mindset,” a phrase psychologist Carol Dweck made famous—but one that gets tossed around too lightly sometimes.

A real growth mindset isn’t just believing you can improve; it’s recognizing that every setback is feedback, not a verdict. That moment when you stumble? It’s not proof you’re failing—it’s your next clue. Maybe your approach needs tweaking. Maybe your goals need adjusting. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s time to ask yourself what you actually want from this journey.

If you treat every challenge as a dead end, motivation dries up fast. But if you see each roadblock as part of the process—as proof you’re stretching beyond what’s comfortable—learning gets a whole lot less intimidating.

If you treat every challenge as a dead end, motivation dries up fast. But if you see each roadblock as part of the process—as proof you’re stretching beyond what’s comfortable—learning gets a whole lot less intimidating.

The Foundation: Clarify Your Core ‘Why’

Every meaningful learning journey starts with a simple but powerful question: Why do you want to do this? Not the version you’d give in an interview—but the real, personal reason that makes you care enough to keep showing up.

Think about when you were a kid. Learning wasn’t about ticking boxes or impressing anyone—it was about curiosity and connection. As adults, it’s easy to lose sight of that and chase rewards (grades, promotions) instead of passion or meaning. But research—and real life—show that when motivation is internal, it sticks around much longer.

Let’s get concrete for a minute. Recent OECD global skill surveys reveal that in middle-income countries, up to 60% of adults struggle with basic numeracy; in wealthier countries, the number is still as high as 40%.

Motivation isn’t just about pushing yourself harder. In fact, the evidence points to something deeper: intrinsic motivation—the kind that comes from personal investment and emotional connection—has a much bigger impact on sticking with new skills, as highlighted by this blended learning study.

So, ask yourself honestly: Why do you care about this skill? If it’s Spanish, maybe it’s for travel—or connecting with family, or simply enjoying music and movies without translation. If it’s coding, maybe you’re hungry for a career change or itching to build something that solves a problem you actually care about.

Here’s what most people ignore: when your “why” is clear—and personal—it becomes your anchor on the tough days. It reminds you why the slog is worth it.

I’ve seen this firsthand (and research backs it up). In one study with adult music learners, those who wrote down their true motivations—playing at family gatherings or using music as stress relief—were far more likely to stick with practice over six months than those who focused only on technical milestones.

Try this today: Write down your reasons for learning. Don’t worry if they sound simple or even selfish—they only need to matter to you. Share them with someone who’ll cheer you on (or just keep them visible for yourself). Those words might be exactly what pulls you through on a day when everything else feels tedious.

Set Attainable, Motivating Goals

Once your “why” is in focus, it’s time to turn that spark into real momentum. Here’s where a lot of us stumble: setting goals that are too vague (“get fluent”), too big (“master JavaScript by summer”), or just plain unrealistic (“I’ll practice every single day”).

I’ve made all these mistakes myself—starting out energized but burning out quickly because I had no way to measure progress or celebrate small wins.

What works instead? Break your learning into bite-sized milestones—goals that are specific and within reach right now. For language learners, maybe that means holding a five-minute conversation or following a creator online in your target language. For coders? Build a tiny app or fix one bug in an open-source project.

Every small win matters. They build confidence and create a sense of forward motion that snowballs over time.

Megan shared something from her own teaching experience that really lands: students who set clear short-term goals—ones they could actually imagine reaching—stuck with their learning much longer than those fixated only on big distant dreams.

And if SMART feels too rigid? Try WOOP: Wish, Outcome, Obstacle, Plan. Example:

• Wish: I want to hold a short conversation in Spanish.
• Outcome: I’ll feel confident chatting while traveling.
• Obstacle: I freeze up when nervous.
• Plan: I’ll practice with a friend once a week.

This mental contrasting helps bridge intentions and action—turning good ideas into actual steps.

One gentle nudge here: use what I call the “Goldilocks Principle.” Not too hard, not too easy—just right for where you are now. Over time, all those small steps add up to something big.

For more on breaking down ambitious projects into manageable actions, see how even big breakthroughs require small steps and why big goals start with small moves.

Make Progress Fun and Engaging

Here’s an unpopular opinion: fun isn’t optional if you want results that last. Too many people treat learning like punishment—flashcards on repeat, drills until boredom takes over—then wonder why they give up.

The best learners I know make practice playful and varied. When I was struggling through my own first year of coding (feeling hopelessly behind), what helped wasn’t more repetition—it was remixing tiny projects and collaborating with friends who didn’t care about “getting it right,” just about experimenting together.

If you’re picking up a language, listen to music on your commute or watch shows with subtitles (even if you barely follow at first). If you’re coding, try building something silly—a calculator app that uses emoji or refactoring someone else’s code just for fun.

Curiosity keeps your brain awake; variety keeps boredom at bay. Mixing up formats—audio one day, journaling another—makes everything stickier.

And research supports this approach: adult learners do better when motivation is front and center—not just rote memorization is involved, as highlighted here. When enjoyment is prioritized alongside skill-building, perseverance follows naturally.

Give yourself permission to experiment—even if something feels goofy at first! Not every method will work for everyone; treat this as an adventure rather than an exam.

There’s real power in what researchers call “deliberate play”—intentionally making room for enjoyable challenges and open-ended exploration. Unlike grinding through deliberate practice (which focuses only on weaknesses), deliberate play is about having fun and stretching your skills.

If you’ve found yourself stuck waiting for motivation or searching for perfect conditions before starting something new, are you still waiting to make time for learning? offers practical ways to move forward despite busy schedules or hesitation.

Your Next Move: Putting the Playbook into Action

Let’s pull this all together. If you’re struggling right now—it probably has nothing to do with willpower or discipline and everything to do with building a system that fits you. Here’s the playbook:

• Clarify your “why”: What personal meaning does this skill hold?
• Set attainable goals: Break big dreams into bite-sized steps.
• Make it fun: Find ways to keep engagement (and joy) alive—even in small ways.

Today’s challenge couldn’t be simpler: pick one tiny action that moves you forward. Queue up a podcast in your target language for tomorrow’s commute. Carve out ten minutes for a new coding tutorial tonight—even if it means closing Instagram for once. Or write down three reasons this skill matters to you and tape them above your desk as a daily nudge.

And don’t keep your story to yourself! What are you working on? What keeps it exciting for you? Sharing—even quietly with one person—can give someone else permission to begin again too.

To stay consistent over time, consider using a habit tracker or jotting down short daily reflections (“What worked? What felt hard?”). Sometimes all it takes is noticing patterns—and seeing how far you’ve come—to keep going when things get tough.

If setbacks throw off your rhythm or you find yourself missing days more often than you’d like, learn how to reset after missing a day so small stumbles don’t derail your long-term growth.

I won’t pretend learning is ever completely smooth—it isn’t for anyone I know (myself included). Plateaus are part of the deal; frustration comes with the territory. But if you build around purpose, clarity, and even a little bit of joy? That struggle slowly transforms into steady growth.

A special thanks again to Megan for sharing her experience—and here’s to making your next move not just another attempt but the beginning of something meaningful.

As you move forward on your learning journey, remember: progress isn’t just measured by checkmarks or milestones but by the meaning and satisfaction discovered along the way. Every step is part of your story—and sometimes the courage simply to begin again is what inspires others most of all.